My last post was all about change! My whole life is changing! And yet, sometimes, some things also never change.
Like my terrible sleeping habits.
Despite all of the good things about my new profession, it has been decidedly terrible for my already less-than-normal sleep schedule.
Take last night for example. I was awake until roughly 6:30 am. Now, to be fair, I had slept in until about 11 am the previous morning- but that is not unusual for me, it's even a bit on the early side for me to be "awake" on a day off.
I'm sure I've said it before, but I would really LOVE to be a morning person. I would. Get up early, full of energy, tackle the day, GET THINGS DONE! The world seems to operate on a schedule catered to morning people. This does not seem to be in my genetic make-up, sadly. I love late nights, and to a certain degree, I love sleeping in late. I love sleeping in general and napping I have a special love for. It always feels so luxurious to sleep (but especially to nap), like a guilty pleasure. And yet, when I sleep in I always feel like a good part of my day is wasted- poof! Gone! (I know, it is gone.) So I wake up already with a mild sense of self-loathing and tend to accomplish very little when I don't have to be anywhere at a specific time.
I want to change this, really I do. I have no idea how to realistically do so with my current crazy schedule.
I know all about sleep hygiene. It's completely useless in my situation. There are days when I've got to be up before 4am for work (earlier, sometimes, when taking various time zones into consideration), other days I might not start my work day until late in the evening. There is no basis for creating consistency for when to go to bed or wake up. So, I don't. Some days I'm well rested and feel ready to conquer the world (about 10 days per year). Most days I'm a miserable tired mess, just muddling through, barely surviving.
Sadly, in the last year or so, I have actually noticed that napping is starting to interfere with my night-time sleep. It previously didn't seem to. This is both sad, and maybe a step forward. I TRY not to nap any longer, but there are days when I simply can't function without one. I'm trying to push myself through my tiredness more days than not now and refuse the urge to nap, hoping I'll go to bed at a reasonable hour. Sometimes it works; other times, 10pm, 11pm, 1am roll by and I'm still awake, despite the denial of a nap earlier.
Why can't I sleep? I really don't know. Sometimes it's stress, my mind ruminating, refusing to shut down, ignoring my rational pleas for sleep. Last night it was wedding stuff. After 3 hours of TRYING to sleep, I gave up and tried to start making lists of the things I need to remember to do with regard to the wedding. This culminated in a list with over 45 items "to-do" that had been previously bouncing around my head. Whew! That's done. Guess what? I still didn't feel drowsy. So I cleaned out my email... then, feeling ridiculous for still being awake, I tried to go to sleep again. It worked, after waiting roughly another 90 minutes for sleep.
My terrible sleep habits and routine late risings make me feel like I'm a terrible pet parent too. I worry that it might be the cause of Teddie's eating difficulty or sometimes resistance to eat her breakfast, because she lacks a normal feeding schedule. It makes me terrified of having children...
So, that's me today. Tired, frustrated, and disappointed that even though I slept until nearly noon that I got less than 6 hours of sleep.
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Saturday, November 12, 2011
The Only Thing Constant is Change
Boy, isn't that title the truth?! That seems especially true of my life recently.
You will have seen in my last post that I have embarked upon a new job? That was also before I successfully completed training for that new job. I did, in fact, graduate from FA training on 9-13-11! It was a rather intense 4 weeks filled with tests and studying. After graduation I completed my inflight test, which I also passed! So I have been a fully FAA qualified FA for almost 2 full months now. I won't lie, it has had its ups and downs (ha, ha) literally and figuratively. I'm hoping the downs are truly just to this season of the year and low flight schedules...
The biggest, most significant change, however, came in my personal life. On October 4, 2011, my wonderful boyfriend of nearly 8 years asked me to be his wife! The proposal was quiet, sweet and romantic at home. It was perfect (and truly a surprise) complete with him on one knee and The Blue Box of my romantic teenage dreams! I, naturally, said "YES!" and we have been wedding planning since. Trying to plan a wedding in just about 7 months seems to be a challenge! Hopefully soon we will make some headway. My new work and his already hectic schedule complicate planning things just a bit.
The engagement and pending wedding have really added fuel to my dieting fire! The very morning after we became engaged I signed up for Weight Watchers (again). I am determined to lose a significant amount of weight before my wedding. I think this is an excellent source of motivation, but I am terrified that I will not meet my goal. I am also experiencing a real dilemma about wedding gown purchasing because of this. My problem? I don't want to purchase a wedding gown in the size that currently fits me. I'm hoping to lose a minimum of 40 lbs before my wedding, and most wedding gowns can only be altered down 2 sizes. I'm hoping to reduce my size from between 2-4 sizes smaller (which is a lofty goal, I know), and I'm afraid that if I do reach my goal a dress that currently fits will then not be fixable to the size I will need. I know most people advise against buying a wedding dress smaller than ones current size, and I understand why. How horrible to purchase a dress that is too small to wear on your wedding day! I'm considering doing it anyway though. I know that I will be miserable seeing wedding pictures of myself at my current weight, and frankly, that is not the lasting wedding memory that I want. I also think that having such a finite goal and deadline will add an element of discipline to my eating and exercise habits that have previously been lacking. So, am I crazy? Stupid? Naive? Probably. But I'm sure I'd stop eating altogether if it meant I were going to fit into my wedding dress (That is not my plan though! I will currently refer to that as "Plan B.").
Any advice out there- diet/exercise/weight loss, wedding planning, or other?
You will have seen in my last post that I have embarked upon a new job? That was also before I successfully completed training for that new job. I did, in fact, graduate from FA training on 9-13-11! It was a rather intense 4 weeks filled with tests and studying. After graduation I completed my inflight test, which I also passed! So I have been a fully FAA qualified FA for almost 2 full months now. I won't lie, it has had its ups and downs (ha, ha) literally and figuratively. I'm hoping the downs are truly just to this season of the year and low flight schedules...
The biggest, most significant change, however, came in my personal life. On October 4, 2011, my wonderful boyfriend of nearly 8 years asked me to be his wife! The proposal was quiet, sweet and romantic at home. It was perfect (and truly a surprise) complete with him on one knee and The Blue Box of my romantic teenage dreams! I, naturally, said "YES!" and we have been wedding planning since. Trying to plan a wedding in just about 7 months seems to be a challenge! Hopefully soon we will make some headway. My new work and his already hectic schedule complicate planning things just a bit.
The engagement and pending wedding have really added fuel to my dieting fire! The very morning after we became engaged I signed up for Weight Watchers (again). I am determined to lose a significant amount of weight before my wedding. I think this is an excellent source of motivation, but I am terrified that I will not meet my goal. I am also experiencing a real dilemma about wedding gown purchasing because of this. My problem? I don't want to purchase a wedding gown in the size that currently fits me. I'm hoping to lose a minimum of 40 lbs before my wedding, and most wedding gowns can only be altered down 2 sizes. I'm hoping to reduce my size from between 2-4 sizes smaller (which is a lofty goal, I know), and I'm afraid that if I do reach my goal a dress that currently fits will then not be fixable to the size I will need. I know most people advise against buying a wedding dress smaller than ones current size, and I understand why. How horrible to purchase a dress that is too small to wear on your wedding day! I'm considering doing it anyway though. I know that I will be miserable seeing wedding pictures of myself at my current weight, and frankly, that is not the lasting wedding memory that I want. I also think that having such a finite goal and deadline will add an element of discipline to my eating and exercise habits that have previously been lacking. So, am I crazy? Stupid? Naive? Probably. But I'm sure I'd stop eating altogether if it meant I were going to fit into my wedding dress (That is not my plan though! I will currently refer to that as "Plan B.").
Any advice out there- diet/exercise/weight loss, wedding planning, or other?
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Hello Again
Hello again my poor, neglected blog!
The year has flown by with little thought of writing anything down! I should really make a more concerted effort to keep things updated, but well, life just seems to get in the way!
Life has been full of changes this year! I moved out of my tiny condo and into a HUGE house with an incredible yard for Teddie! This house came along with new roommates, in the form of my big brother (recently retired from 20 years of service in the Air Force) and his wife and their dog Dude.
After MONTHS of searching for a new job, I was offered 2 jobs within 24 hours of each other! After an agonizing week of lists of pros and cons, I went with my gut and took a big scary leap into a new career as a Flight Attendant for Frontier Airlines! So, I've quit my old primary gig and taken a leave of absence from my more part-time-ish gig (to see if it can still fit into this new life, or not)! I'm currently about a week and a half into my four and a half weeks of Flight Attendant (FA) training- and let me just say that this is MUCH HARDER THAN IT SEEMS! I'll talk more about this later...
I completed my FIRST RACE on August 21st! I ran (jogged occasionally, and walked a lot) the Warrior Dash in Copper Mountain (a 5k, essentially, with a bunch of obstacles added in- at roughly 10,000 ft!)! It was hard, muddy and fun! My goal was only to finish without stopping- which I did. Considering the almost zero training that I did, I'm ok with having finished in 1 hour and 13 minutes.
Teddie is gradually growing into a "good" girl, but some days it is very uphill work. I was incredibly lucky to be able to take her to work with me for 5 months, and am now lucky to have a roommate who is home almost all day, every day while I'm gone. She's still naughty, energetic and stubborn, but improving.
This is about all of the check-in time I can muster at the moment, I've got to get back to studying, but I'll try to be more regular. I know that I HATE it when the blogs that I enjoy reading are updated infrequently (don't they KNOW that I rely on that entertainment?!), though, I have no idea if anyone besides me really sees this ;)
The year has flown by with little thought of writing anything down! I should really make a more concerted effort to keep things updated, but well, life just seems to get in the way!
Life has been full of changes this year! I moved out of my tiny condo and into a HUGE house with an incredible yard for Teddie! This house came along with new roommates, in the form of my big brother (recently retired from 20 years of service in the Air Force) and his wife and their dog Dude.
After MONTHS of searching for a new job, I was offered 2 jobs within 24 hours of each other! After an agonizing week of lists of pros and cons, I went with my gut and took a big scary leap into a new career as a Flight Attendant for Frontier Airlines! So, I've quit my old primary gig and taken a leave of absence from my more part-time-ish gig (to see if it can still fit into this new life, or not)! I'm currently about a week and a half into my four and a half weeks of Flight Attendant (FA) training- and let me just say that this is MUCH HARDER THAN IT SEEMS! I'll talk more about this later...
I completed my FIRST RACE on August 21st! I ran (jogged occasionally, and walked a lot) the Warrior Dash in Copper Mountain (a 5k, essentially, with a bunch of obstacles added in- at roughly 10,000 ft!)! It was hard, muddy and fun! My goal was only to finish without stopping- which I did. Considering the almost zero training that I did, I'm ok with having finished in 1 hour and 13 minutes.
Teddie is gradually growing into a "good" girl, but some days it is very uphill work. I was incredibly lucky to be able to take her to work with me for 5 months, and am now lucky to have a roommate who is home almost all day, every day while I'm gone. She's still naughty, energetic and stubborn, but improving.
This is about all of the check-in time I can muster at the moment, I've got to get back to studying, but I'll try to be more regular. I know that I HATE it when the blogs that I enjoy reading are updated infrequently (don't they KNOW that I rely on that entertainment?!), though, I have no idea if anyone besides me really sees this ;)
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Puppy!
My life has been taken over by a tiny, toothy little tyrant.
She's adorable.
She's awful (Oh so naughty).
Her name is Theodora Tonks. Or, Teddie, as we refer to her (and she responds to).
In the (almost) 8 weeks that she has been in our lives she has transformed from this:
To this:
And this:
Don't let that face fool you! Oh yes, she's cute! But she is quite easily the naughtiest puppy I've ever owned.
We were completely deceived. When we adopted her she was the sweetest, cuddliest, sleepiest puppy on the planet. She slept in her crate without a peep the first night. The next day (and from then on) she has been a whirling dervish that was bred with a Tasmanian Devil (that never tires).
She's quite a little comedian. She's smart. She's busy. She's wild.
Despite the lack of sleep and the energy that she sucks from me, I'm so glad that this little fluff ball has joined the family. I'm confident that eventually she will spend more than an hour without serving a time-out (in her crate) and I'm hoping that someday she will enjoy a good cuddle.
She's adorable.
She's awful (Oh so naughty).
Her name is Theodora Tonks. Or, Teddie, as we refer to her (and she responds to).
In the (almost) 8 weeks that she has been in our lives she has transformed from this:
To this:
And this:
Don't let that face fool you! Oh yes, she's cute! But she is quite easily the naughtiest puppy I've ever owned.
We were completely deceived. When we adopted her she was the sweetest, cuddliest, sleepiest puppy on the planet. She slept in her crate without a peep the first night. The next day (and from then on) she has been a whirling dervish that was bred with a Tasmanian Devil (that never tires).
She's quite a little comedian. She's smart. She's busy. She's wild.
Despite the lack of sleep and the energy that she sucks from me, I'm so glad that this little fluff ball has joined the family. I'm confident that eventually she will spend more than an hour without serving a time-out (in her crate) and I'm hoping that someday she will enjoy a good cuddle.
Friday, November 26, 2010
Thankful
I told him on Thanksgiving Day, but...
I'm really, truly thankful for my amazing boyfriend. It's incredible to feel like I've finally found someone who is my partner in life, completely. There is nothing that I can't come to him with, nothing he would refuse me (and I him). I am so excited for all of the things that our future holds!
I'm thankful for the wonderful family that I was able to spend Thanksgiving with, which was both my family and his. It feels so comforting to feel like his family has really embraced me as one of their own, like I belong.
I'm thankful for the family that I love very much that I wasn't able to spend the day with too. They were still in my thoughts, even if they weren't at my table.
I'm really, truly thankful for my amazing boyfriend. It's incredible to feel like I've finally found someone who is my partner in life, completely. There is nothing that I can't come to him with, nothing he would refuse me (and I him). I am so excited for all of the things that our future holds!
I'm thankful for the wonderful family that I was able to spend Thanksgiving with, which was both my family and his. It feels so comforting to feel like his family has really embraced me as one of their own, like I belong.
I'm thankful for the family that I love very much that I wasn't able to spend the day with too. They were still in my thoughts, even if they weren't at my table.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
A Dream Has Died
It's official. Prince William is engaged.
I know. Terrible news.
As a little girl, I always dreamed that I'd marry Prince William. We were the same age, he was cute, he was a Prince, sexy accent. It was all perfect. I knew that if we were ever to meet that he would instantly fall in love with me.
I was even in London, at Prince Charles' residence on Williams 16th birthday. Alas, we didn't meet. Why didn't I study abroad in Scotland in college?!
I usually never get wrapped up in media stories like this, but I can't help but admit I think this is a bit exciting. I think they're an adorable couple, she's very pretty, and I hope they really do have a great, untroubled life.
I know. Terrible news.
As a little girl, I always dreamed that I'd marry Prince William. We were the same age, he was cute, he was a Prince, sexy accent. It was all perfect. I knew that if we were ever to meet that he would instantly fall in love with me.
I was even in London, at Prince Charles' residence on Williams 16th birthday. Alas, we didn't meet. Why didn't I study abroad in Scotland in college?!
I usually never get wrapped up in media stories like this, but I can't help but admit I think this is a bit exciting. I think they're an adorable couple, she's very pretty, and I hope they really do have a great, untroubled life.
Friday, November 5, 2010
Late Night Politics
It's interesting that the religious right-wing (Republicans, usually) is adamantly against abortion, and yet are frequently pro-death penalty and against gun control? It seems inconsistent that they place such a high value on life, but only before it enters the world. And that this same group is often the ones voting against keeping all of these precious lives healthy through measures such as health care for all, because that crosses the line into too much government interference in peoples' private lives (but we want to control your reproductive life!).
Hmm...seems very inconsistent to me.
Hmm...seems very inconsistent to me.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Good Intentions
I really do have good intentions to blog frequently. I even dream up posts in my head while going about my day or doing this or that. But...clearly, these rarely become reality. The funny thing is that I love reading blogs where there are frequent, if not daily posts. I get annoyed when it's been awhile since my favorites have updated. I'm a terrible blog lurker, but have recently begun to publicly "follow" some because I know it's sometimes nice to know someone out there is listening. Hello and thanks to my first public follower! I love having a little glimpse now and then into your sweet world :)
I've been struggling a lot lately. Facing a lot of big decisions, both self-inflicted and life-inflicted. To be honest life has just been hard lately and I'm not quite keeping up the way I'd like to.
I've been debating, as I'm sure most bloggers do, just how much to share openly in this online world. Less of this is due to privacy concerns than it is to my own self esteem and the idea of feeling emotionally vulnerable, which is something that I tend to avoid among even my closest circle. I know a ton of people don't read my blog (I think), but I know that I'm not entirely anonymous either. Part of me wants to let it all come rushing out, and the other part wants desperately to keep the blankets over my head!
I've been struggling a lot lately. Facing a lot of big decisions, both self-inflicted and life-inflicted. To be honest life has just been hard lately and I'm not quite keeping up the way I'd like to.
I've been debating, as I'm sure most bloggers do, just how much to share openly in this online world. Less of this is due to privacy concerns than it is to my own self esteem and the idea of feeling emotionally vulnerable, which is something that I tend to avoid among even my closest circle. I know a ton of people don't read my blog (I think), but I know that I'm not entirely anonymous either. Part of me wants to let it all come rushing out, and the other part wants desperately to keep the blankets over my head!
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Summer
How can my summer be nearly gone?!
This summer has been...interesting.
I've had fun and done some great things, but in my personal life I've had a lot on my plate.
The highlight of the summer has definitely been the trip to Florida. My boyfriend and I went to Universal Studios, but more specifically, we went for Infinitus 2010 and the Wizarding World of Harry Potter. Yes, we went to a Harry Potter conference. Yes, we are that big of dorks when it comes to Harry Potter. And it. Was. Awesome. Fantastic! Totally worth it! And we are already trying to plan for LeakyCon 2011 next year in Orlando. More about that trip to follow, it definitely deserves its own post with lots of pictures.
At the end of July we took our annual camping and whitewater rafting trip for my boyfriends birthday. Camping was a ton of fun, we met up with some friends and had a great spot to camp at. Rafting was nice, but not the excitement that I usually prefer. We did get to see a bald eagle on our rafting trip, which was exciting- my boyfriend had never seen one before- I haven't seen one since my last trip to Alaska. I also saw an antelope, it was beautiful, I've never seen a wild one before!
Those have been our "big" events, but it seems like every weekend has been filled with some family or friend obligation or another. I've had very little true down-time, which is a bit disappointing.
Needless to say, I'm not ready for the summer to end. I love the nice weather and long days. I love not being burdened with both school and work. I haven't accomplished pretty much anything that was on my mental to-do list.
I've been struggling a lot with some personal issues, and I'm actively trying to get things under control, or at least work through them. This is not easy, and I'm sure that it will not be a quick process, but one that will hopefully pay off in the end.
I'm very conflicted about whether to continue my schooling at the moment. I am just so tired. Tired of juggling school and work. Tired of being a student. Tired of all of the work and energy and time that school requires. Of course, I would much prefer to just be a student and not work, but unfortunately, that isn't currently an option. Additionally, in the back of my mind is always my internal debate about the time and money to get my masters degree when I have a very strong desire to someday be a stay-at-home mom. Is it worth it? Is it better to do that now or later after my (future) children are in school? Of course, I know that schooling is easier to complete without a family to worry about or juggle. But, if I take on all of this schooling and training and student loan debt, I won't really have the option to be the stay-at-home mom that I would like to be. If anyone else has dealt with a similar situation or decision, I'd love to hear from you and how you made your decision.
So, in a nutshell, that's been my summer. It has been both great and fun and relaxing and also not everything (or as long as) I'd hoped it would be.
This summer has been...interesting.
I've had fun and done some great things, but in my personal life I've had a lot on my plate.
The highlight of the summer has definitely been the trip to Florida. My boyfriend and I went to Universal Studios, but more specifically, we went for Infinitus 2010 and the Wizarding World of Harry Potter. Yes, we went to a Harry Potter conference. Yes, we are that big of dorks when it comes to Harry Potter. And it. Was. Awesome. Fantastic! Totally worth it! And we are already trying to plan for LeakyCon 2011 next year in Orlando. More about that trip to follow, it definitely deserves its own post with lots of pictures.
At the end of July we took our annual camping and whitewater rafting trip for my boyfriends birthday. Camping was a ton of fun, we met up with some friends and had a great spot to camp at. Rafting was nice, but not the excitement that I usually prefer. We did get to see a bald eagle on our rafting trip, which was exciting- my boyfriend had never seen one before- I haven't seen one since my last trip to Alaska. I also saw an antelope, it was beautiful, I've never seen a wild one before!
Those have been our "big" events, but it seems like every weekend has been filled with some family or friend obligation or another. I've had very little true down-time, which is a bit disappointing.
Needless to say, I'm not ready for the summer to end. I love the nice weather and long days. I love not being burdened with both school and work. I haven't accomplished pretty much anything that was on my mental to-do list.
I've been struggling a lot with some personal issues, and I'm actively trying to get things under control, or at least work through them. This is not easy, and I'm sure that it will not be a quick process, but one that will hopefully pay off in the end.
I'm very conflicted about whether to continue my schooling at the moment. I am just so tired. Tired of juggling school and work. Tired of being a student. Tired of all of the work and energy and time that school requires. Of course, I would much prefer to just be a student and not work, but unfortunately, that isn't currently an option. Additionally, in the back of my mind is always my internal debate about the time and money to get my masters degree when I have a very strong desire to someday be a stay-at-home mom. Is it worth it? Is it better to do that now or later after my (future) children are in school? Of course, I know that schooling is easier to complete without a family to worry about or juggle. But, if I take on all of this schooling and training and student loan debt, I won't really have the option to be the stay-at-home mom that I would like to be. If anyone else has dealt with a similar situation or decision, I'd love to hear from you and how you made your decision.
So, in a nutshell, that's been my summer. It has been both great and fun and relaxing and also not everything (or as long as) I'd hoped it would be.
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Be Thankful
Today, while I was unfortunately working, I was powerfully touched by the story of one of the nurses I was working with.
This particular nurse has a young adult son who is slowly dying of a genetic disease, the same one that took the life of his father, her husband. She has every reason to feel sorry for herself, watching her son waste away, knowing that it is only a matter of time until half of her family is lost to this awful disease.
This nurse recounted an experience that she had the other day. After walking with her dogs in the rain, she brought them home and put them in the shower to wash off the wet dog smell. The dogs then proceeded to run like maniacs in an attempt to dry themselves. This nurse and her son were so entertained by the antics of their dogs that they were laughing hysterically. She was suddenly so caught up by the laughter and sheer joy of the moment that she just burst out to her son how much she loved him and was so grateful that she has had the privilege of having him in her life, along with these wonderful dogs that bring them both so much happiness. She was able to realize that she was lucky for these simple pleasures, no matter how briefly they might last.
This simple story, recounting what some might see as mundane daily life, touched me profoundly in that moment. I had a sudden epiphany in that moment.
What an ungrateful little complainer I am. I have so much that I should be thankful for. Despite life's imperfections and struggles, and the intermittent real personal struggle and tragedy, on the whole I should be happy for all that I have.
Yes, school is hard. Working two jobs, with no benefits is difficult and stressful. I wish I had a more spacious home. I wish that I were done with my education. I wish that I were already married and a mother. But it is important to remember that all of these challenges are making me a better person, as unpleasant as the process might be at times. Things might not always happen on my desired timeline, but I know that there is a greater plan that I cannot always comprehend. I have a wonderful family and boyfriend, and a best friend who has been there for me for the past 16 years.
I need to remember these things more often.
Remember to stop and be thankful, count your blessings.
This particular nurse has a young adult son who is slowly dying of a genetic disease, the same one that took the life of his father, her husband. She has every reason to feel sorry for herself, watching her son waste away, knowing that it is only a matter of time until half of her family is lost to this awful disease.
This nurse recounted an experience that she had the other day. After walking with her dogs in the rain, she brought them home and put them in the shower to wash off the wet dog smell. The dogs then proceeded to run like maniacs in an attempt to dry themselves. This nurse and her son were so entertained by the antics of their dogs that they were laughing hysterically. She was suddenly so caught up by the laughter and sheer joy of the moment that she just burst out to her son how much she loved him and was so grateful that she has had the privilege of having him in her life, along with these wonderful dogs that bring them both so much happiness. She was able to realize that she was lucky for these simple pleasures, no matter how briefly they might last.
This simple story, recounting what some might see as mundane daily life, touched me profoundly in that moment. I had a sudden epiphany in that moment.
What an ungrateful little complainer I am. I have so much that I should be thankful for. Despite life's imperfections and struggles, and the intermittent real personal struggle and tragedy, on the whole I should be happy for all that I have.
Yes, school is hard. Working two jobs, with no benefits is difficult and stressful. I wish I had a more spacious home. I wish that I were done with my education. I wish that I were already married and a mother. But it is important to remember that all of these challenges are making me a better person, as unpleasant as the process might be at times. Things might not always happen on my desired timeline, but I know that there is a greater plan that I cannot always comprehend. I have a wonderful family and boyfriend, and a best friend who has been there for me for the past 16 years.
I need to remember these things more often.
Remember to stop and be thankful, count your blessings.
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Operation Veggisaur
My boyfriend and I are trying a little experiment for the month of June. We are going vegetarian. We are currently 5 days in and I think it's going pretty well.
We would like to be healthier, but to be honest, this isn't our primary motivation. I wouldn't complain if it helps me drop a few pounds either...
Our main motivation are the ethics behind the meat we consume. I love animals dearly. ALL of them, even the ones most people hate. LOVE THEM. Somehow, it just doesn't seem right to eat them, but I was raised in a meat-eating family and generally haven't ever given this a second thought. I like meat, it tastes good, so why rock the boat, right?
Recently my boyfriend and I watched Food Inc. and were incredibly disturbed by what we saw. This was really the trigger. I honestly wouldn't have minded drastically reducing our meat intake prior to this (while I like meat I don't really like to eat vast quantities of it), but I figured that my boyfriend would never go for it- he is a serious carnivore. But, when he suggested this little challenge, I disbelivingly accepted.
Additionally, I've recently been exposed to a more open-minded view about what we eat, where it came from and how it was made. I've been reading more about this topic, and for whatever reason it has stayed at the forefront of my mind. I don't honestly think that I will ever be a total vegetarian, I'm not ruling it out though.
I think that family gatherings and holidays as a vegetarian would be very difficult. I also think that world travel as a vegetarian might be difficult (which I hope and plan to do a lot of), partially because experiencing local dishes is an intrinsic part of the travel experience and partly because I think language barriers and foreign food preparation methods would make this difficult.
I hope to learn from this challenge. I grew up in a home, like I mentioned above, that eats meat. I honestly don't know how to cook very many meals that aren't based around some type of meat. So, I'll have to re-learn some cooking skills. This, so far, has been good. I'm exploring new foods and trying new things (including faux meats, which has been difficult to wrap my brain around). I'm also trying several recipes that are familiar and just trying them without the meat. I'm giving much more thought to my nutrient intakes, particularly protein- also good.
So, Operation Veggisaur is underway! Wish us luck, and if you have any good vegetarian recipes, send them my way!
We would like to be healthier, but to be honest, this isn't our primary motivation. I wouldn't complain if it helps me drop a few pounds either...
Our main motivation are the ethics behind the meat we consume. I love animals dearly. ALL of them, even the ones most people hate. LOVE THEM. Somehow, it just doesn't seem right to eat them, but I was raised in a meat-eating family and generally haven't ever given this a second thought. I like meat, it tastes good, so why rock the boat, right?
Recently my boyfriend and I watched Food Inc. and were incredibly disturbed by what we saw. This was really the trigger. I honestly wouldn't have minded drastically reducing our meat intake prior to this (while I like meat I don't really like to eat vast quantities of it), but I figured that my boyfriend would never go for it- he is a serious carnivore. But, when he suggested this little challenge, I disbelivingly accepted.
Additionally, I've recently been exposed to a more open-minded view about what we eat, where it came from and how it was made. I've been reading more about this topic, and for whatever reason it has stayed at the forefront of my mind. I don't honestly think that I will ever be a total vegetarian, I'm not ruling it out though.
I think that family gatherings and holidays as a vegetarian would be very difficult. I also think that world travel as a vegetarian might be difficult (which I hope and plan to do a lot of), partially because experiencing local dishes is an intrinsic part of the travel experience and partly because I think language barriers and foreign food preparation methods would make this difficult.
I hope to learn from this challenge. I grew up in a home, like I mentioned above, that eats meat. I honestly don't know how to cook very many meals that aren't based around some type of meat. So, I'll have to re-learn some cooking skills. This, so far, has been good. I'm exploring new foods and trying new things (including faux meats, which has been difficult to wrap my brain around). I'm also trying several recipes that are familiar and just trying them without the meat. I'm giving much more thought to my nutrient intakes, particularly protein- also good.
So, Operation Veggisaur is underway! Wish us luck, and if you have any good vegetarian recipes, send them my way!
Friday, May 7, 2010
Resurfacing
It's been a few months since I've blogged. This school semester has been completely out-of-hand and overwhelming! I'm so glad that in 6 days final exams will be over! I'll still have some chemistry to wrap up after that date, but I feel so relieved to see the end that that seems minor in comparison to the last few weeks and months. I can't wait to catch up with the rest of my life!
This semester marks my boyfriend's first semester back to school in 8 years, and he has worked hard and done so well, even while working 2 jobs. I'm so proud of him! Both of us going to school simultaneously has been both good and difficult. I just hope he maintains his momentum and finishes quickly (unlike me)!
I'm hoping that this summer will bring lots of great changes. Time for lots of exercise and fun outdoors, time to get my home organized and hopefully just time to relax. I have a ton of projects and a mile-long to-do list waiting for next Thursday... and a pile of non-school books that I'm eager to read!
This semester marks my boyfriend's first semester back to school in 8 years, and he has worked hard and done so well, even while working 2 jobs. I'm so proud of him! Both of us going to school simultaneously has been both good and difficult. I just hope he maintains his momentum and finishes quickly (unlike me)!
I'm hoping that this summer will bring lots of great changes. Time for lots of exercise and fun outdoors, time to get my home organized and hopefully just time to relax. I have a ton of projects and a mile-long to-do list waiting for next Thursday... and a pile of non-school books that I'm eager to read!
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Restraint, a Rant
It's amazing sometimes how difficult it is to not lash back at someone, isn't it? Especially someone who is wrong? Wrong, and furthermore, completely ignornant about the topic they're raving about. Ignorance makes me crazy, as does closed-mindedness. I just cannot understand this mindset, and the many faces and places that it shows up in.
So, I'm going to take a deep breath, and not respond to the anonymous idiot over the internet. It's difficult, but they're too stupid, or ill-informed to know any better anyway. Sadly, wasting my breath won't improve their dismal intellect or perspective.
Sure, I'm not perfect. I don't know everything. But I make damn sure before I spout off my opinion that I have support and evidence for that opinion, I've usually done my research first. And, more importantly, I try to maintain an open-mind.
So, I'm going to take a deep breath, and not respond to the anonymous idiot over the internet. It's difficult, but they're too stupid, or ill-informed to know any better anyway. Sadly, wasting my breath won't improve their dismal intellect or perspective.
Sure, I'm not perfect. I don't know everything. But I make damn sure before I spout off my opinion that I have support and evidence for that opinion, I've usually done my research first. And, more importantly, I try to maintain an open-mind.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Motivation
I've been having an incredibly difficult time finding the motivation to go to the gym and exercise. I've been counting my Weight Watchers points and doing well with that, but, after the first couple of weeks it just hasn't been enough to keep budging that number down on the scale. I honestly can't imagine where I can currently find the energy to make myself do anything except sleep during my free time (and certainly not frequently enough for it to help me lose weight). Lately, all I want to do is sleep. And then, after an hour or two awake, sleep some more.
Any advice? Where do you find your motivation? How do you get past times like this and make a lasting habit of exercise?
Any advice? Where do you find your motivation? How do you get past times like this and make a lasting habit of exercise?
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Resolutions Update
I am very proud to report that MY CAR IS PAID OFF!!! WOOHOO!! 11 months early! I feel so free! Now I can devote that large chunk of money toward other debt, sigh...
But, all in all, I'm very pleased! And I can actually check 1 resolution item off of my list! In January, no less!!
Also, on the resolution front, I have purchased and assembled a new shelving unit and large filing cabinet to help get myself ORGANIZED! Now, I just have to fill that filing cabinet and empty my living room. Haha, wish me luck! I didn't have the energy to do both today...
But, all in all, I'm very pleased! And I can actually check 1 resolution item off of my list! In January, no less!!
Also, on the resolution front, I have purchased and assembled a new shelving unit and large filing cabinet to help get myself ORGANIZED! Now, I just have to fill that filing cabinet and empty my living room. Haha, wish me luck! I didn't have the energy to do both today...
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Yay!
I lost 3 pounds between this Wednesday and last! Woohoo! I've been counting my weight watchers points and feeling hungry, but I'll take the progress! I think a little bit of, ahem, stomach upset may have also aided in my weight loss, but I'm still counting the pounds I lost!
Now I just need to wake up early enough to go to one of those pesky meetings and weigh in there too...
I have drawn up an exercise schedule for myself that I expect to start the first of February, once I have a half-second of free time to fit anything else in, so I hope that that will accelerate my weight loss.
Now I just need to wake up early enough to go to one of those pesky meetings and weigh in there too...
I have drawn up an exercise schedule for myself that I expect to start the first of February, once I have a half-second of free time to fit anything else in, so I hope that that will accelerate my weight loss.
Monday, January 4, 2010
2010 Reading Challenge
Ok, here's my start for the 2010 Reading Challenge! I'm going to just keep posting here on my blog, under the label 2010 Reading Challenge (because I'm not cool enough to know how to make a tab or page just for it- help, please?). I'm going to try to read as many as possible, but I don't know if my school will allow me the time to read a full 100 books this year. Happy reading! Join in the fun here: http://j-kaye-book-blog.blogspot.com/2009/11/new-2010-reading-challenge-100-reading.html
Completed books for 2010:
1. The Shelters of Stone by Jean M. Auel
2. Guinevere: On the Eve of Legend by Cheryl Carpinello
Completed books for 2010:
1. The Shelters of Stone by Jean M. Auel
2. Guinevere: On the Eve of Legend by Cheryl Carpinello
Happy 2010!
Well, it's the start to a new year and a new decade! I'm always eager to start a new year and make new resolutions that usually get broken quickly, or never followed in the first place. This is also the first real decade of my "adult" life, meaning, I'm not a teenager anymore, or for any part of this decade.
The last 10 years of my life have brought about so many momentous occasions and major life changes. I have graduated from both high school and college. I have found the career path that finally feels right to me, that I am passionate about pursuing. I have lived through my Mom's illness and death. I've also survived many other relationships, life changes, and the ups and downs that go with them. I bought my first home, all by myself! Although the last decade has certainly not turned out the way that I thought that it would be, I have learned a lot and grown as a person. I'm grateful for the things that I've learned, and I'm trying to accept life for what it is and what it isn't, and adjust my expectations accordingly. I'm excited and hopeful for all of the things that I hope the next 10 years will bring!
This year, I have a lot of very vague ideas about what I would like to do, but I'm having a difficult time developing the specifics. I would really like to make some goals that are achievable and result in long-lasting changes. I think I need to start with my home, it's so messy and cluttered that it's literally difficult to think (and walk) in!
Of course, being more organized is high on the list.
Also, again, weight loss. Since today is the first monday of the new year I have weighed myself and taken new measurements. Let me just say that the results are NOT GOOD. Not good at all. So, I have a few ideas about how to tackle this: first, Weight Watchers, second, exercise (regularly). For some extra motivation I'm participating in an office Biggest Loser type contest that I've helped to organize, I'm also considering signing up for @Losermoms contest that I saw through Twitter (see http://losermoms.blogspot.com/2010/01/sign-ups-for-biggest-loser-moms-2nd.html)
I'm continuing with school this year and I'm hoping to complete all of the classes that I need to apply for graduate school in the fall. I will also need to devote some time to the GRE, which I'm a little nervous about. The other academic thing on my plate is a nursing aide class that I'm taking for the last 3 weeks of January. This will be good for my nursing applications, but will also hopefully help me professionally.
I'm setting a goal of paying off my car early this year, hopefully in January, but by March at the latest. I'm VERY excited about the prospect of not having a car payment!
Another carry-over resolution is to focus on my finances, of which, the car is a big part. I would like to learn how to make and stay on a budget and pay off as much debt as possible. I am very proud to say that I paid all cash for Christmas in 2009, no credit cards!
I'm going to read as many books as I can in 2010, and keep a record of them. I have decided that I am not reaching for the full 100+ books on the book blog because of my school reading obligations, which always decreases my time for pleasure reading. My inspiration for this is J Kaye's book blog: http://j-kaye-book-blog.blogspot.com/2009/11/new-2010-reading-challenge-100-reading.html Check it out! I will try to keep a list of my 2010 books under the 2010 Reading Challenge label, I'll see if I can figure out how to make that easier to follow.
In general, I'm hoping for a happy, successful 2010. I would like to continue to improve myself as a person, and work at being the best me I can be (corny, I know). I would like to teach myself to be more disciplined, less lazy, and to finally find a regular schedule that I can adhere to (I think this will help with most of the other resolutions too).
Good luck to all of you! I'd love to hear your resolutions and how you plan to tackle them!
Happy 2010!
The last 10 years of my life have brought about so many momentous occasions and major life changes. I have graduated from both high school and college. I have found the career path that finally feels right to me, that I am passionate about pursuing. I have lived through my Mom's illness and death. I've also survived many other relationships, life changes, and the ups and downs that go with them. I bought my first home, all by myself! Although the last decade has certainly not turned out the way that I thought that it would be, I have learned a lot and grown as a person. I'm grateful for the things that I've learned, and I'm trying to accept life for what it is and what it isn't, and adjust my expectations accordingly. I'm excited and hopeful for all of the things that I hope the next 10 years will bring!
This year, I have a lot of very vague ideas about what I would like to do, but I'm having a difficult time developing the specifics. I would really like to make some goals that are achievable and result in long-lasting changes. I think I need to start with my home, it's so messy and cluttered that it's literally difficult to think (and walk) in!
Of course, being more organized is high on the list.
Also, again, weight loss. Since today is the first monday of the new year I have weighed myself and taken new measurements. Let me just say that the results are NOT GOOD. Not good at all. So, I have a few ideas about how to tackle this: first, Weight Watchers, second, exercise (regularly). For some extra motivation I'm participating in an office Biggest Loser type contest that I've helped to organize, I'm also considering signing up for @Losermoms contest that I saw through Twitter (see http://losermoms.blogspot.com/2010/01/sign-ups-for-biggest-loser-moms-2nd.html)
I'm continuing with school this year and I'm hoping to complete all of the classes that I need to apply for graduate school in the fall. I will also need to devote some time to the GRE, which I'm a little nervous about. The other academic thing on my plate is a nursing aide class that I'm taking for the last 3 weeks of January. This will be good for my nursing applications, but will also hopefully help me professionally.
I'm setting a goal of paying off my car early this year, hopefully in January, but by March at the latest. I'm VERY excited about the prospect of not having a car payment!
Another carry-over resolution is to focus on my finances, of which, the car is a big part. I would like to learn how to make and stay on a budget and pay off as much debt as possible. I am very proud to say that I paid all cash for Christmas in 2009, no credit cards!
I'm going to read as many books as I can in 2010, and keep a record of them. I have decided that I am not reaching for the full 100+ books on the book blog because of my school reading obligations, which always decreases my time for pleasure reading. My inspiration for this is J Kaye's book blog: http://j-kaye-book-blog.blogspot.com/2009/11/new-2010-reading-challenge-100-reading.html Check it out! I will try to keep a list of my 2010 books under the 2010 Reading Challenge label, I'll see if I can figure out how to make that easier to follow.
In general, I'm hoping for a happy, successful 2010. I would like to continue to improve myself as a person, and work at being the best me I can be (corny, I know). I would like to teach myself to be more disciplined, less lazy, and to finally find a regular schedule that I can adhere to (I think this will help with most of the other resolutions too).
Good luck to all of you! I'd love to hear your resolutions and how you plan to tackle them!
Happy 2010!
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Tis the Season
I'm taking a busy moment out of a packed Saturday to write. Not that I have anything remarkable going on that would make for a fascinating read, but mainly because I'm waiting to continue baking my chocolate-chip banana nut bread until my boyfriend shows up with the buttermilk that I forgot I needed.
This Christmas I'm going out to Oklahoma to spend the holiday with my Dad. Something I haven't done with my Dad since I was 4 years old. In fact, except for a brief 30 minute road stop while he was moving across country, I haven't even seen my Dad in nearly 10 years. We talk on the phone pretty regularly, and I feel like we have a pretty good relationship, but face-to-face time has been scarce and I'm so excited to see him. I also get to spend some rare time with his side of the family, my aunt and cousins that I really enjoy and recently reconnected with.
The only thing that I'm not excited about is the drive across the plains to get there and back (praying for good weather and making good time) and being away from the family that I usually spend the holidays with. Also, while I'm excited, I'm a little nervous about my boyfriend meeting my Dad for the first time (I know he's nervous too).
So today, getting ready to leave, I'm trying to cram in everything that I can. I'm baking and making candy and fudge. I'm trying to get the laundry and dishes done, and finish wrapping all of the gifts. Then I've got to get packed, wash the car and get a last minute oil change, and mail my packages and letters. I'm also really looking forward to packing up the cat and moving her over to my aunts' house for the week. To say that she doesn't "travel well" is truly an understatement. At least we will make it to my aunts' house quickly, since everyone we pass on the road will think that I'm blaring ambulance sirens (or killing the cat trembling violently in my arms, which is tempting after being clawed for the 5th time).
I hope everyone else has fun enjoying this busy, busy time of year! As stressful as it can be, I truly love the holidays! I can't wait for a 12 hour car ride filled with Christmas music and Harry Potter audio books!
This Christmas I'm going out to Oklahoma to spend the holiday with my Dad. Something I haven't done with my Dad since I was 4 years old. In fact, except for a brief 30 minute road stop while he was moving across country, I haven't even seen my Dad in nearly 10 years. We talk on the phone pretty regularly, and I feel like we have a pretty good relationship, but face-to-face time has been scarce and I'm so excited to see him. I also get to spend some rare time with his side of the family, my aunt and cousins that I really enjoy and recently reconnected with.
The only thing that I'm not excited about is the drive across the plains to get there and back (praying for good weather and making good time) and being away from the family that I usually spend the holidays with. Also, while I'm excited, I'm a little nervous about my boyfriend meeting my Dad for the first time (I know he's nervous too).
So today, getting ready to leave, I'm trying to cram in everything that I can. I'm baking and making candy and fudge. I'm trying to get the laundry and dishes done, and finish wrapping all of the gifts. Then I've got to get packed, wash the car and get a last minute oil change, and mail my packages and letters. I'm also really looking forward to packing up the cat and moving her over to my aunts' house for the week. To say that she doesn't "travel well" is truly an understatement. At least we will make it to my aunts' house quickly, since everyone we pass on the road will think that I'm blaring ambulance sirens (or killing the cat trembling violently in my arms, which is tempting after being clawed for the 5th time).
I hope everyone else has fun enjoying this busy, busy time of year! As stressful as it can be, I truly love the holidays! I can't wait for a 12 hour car ride filled with Christmas music and Harry Potter audio books!
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Changes
Tomorrow is my birthday. I know, another one. Yikes! 30 will be here in the blink of an eye, I'm sure (but not yet!).
But besides my age changing, quite a lot of things are changing around here. Big things. Scary things.
The week started off with my wonderful boyfriend losing his full-time job of 6 years. Pretty sucky. The week of my birthday and 2 weeks before Christmas. What a happy holiday season for us, huh? Thankfully he still has a part-time job, but it still leaves us very short financially. He's already looking for new jobs and I pray he finds something quickly.
I finished final exams for this semester today. I also am praying that I did well and do not need to relive any anatomy hell again. Fingers crossed...
January will mark back-to-school time for both myself and my boyfriend. I will be returning as a full-time student for the first time since I graduated in May (I only went part-time during the fall). My boyfriend will be returning for the first time in 9 years! Wow! He's so excited! Which is adorable, I'm so unexcited about school it's ridiculous, I'm sure his shiny, new excitement will wear off in time, but for now it's very cute.
All of these changes of course have me thinking about New Years resolutions and the things that I'd like to change voluntarily in my life. I failed miserably at last years resolutions, so perhaps I should give it another go in 2010 or modify my resolutions and break them down into more manageable steps. I'll have to brainstorm about this...
So, yeah, big changes coming up. I wonder what else the new year will bring?
But besides my age changing, quite a lot of things are changing around here. Big things. Scary things.
The week started off with my wonderful boyfriend losing his full-time job of 6 years. Pretty sucky. The week of my birthday and 2 weeks before Christmas. What a happy holiday season for us, huh? Thankfully he still has a part-time job, but it still leaves us very short financially. He's already looking for new jobs and I pray he finds something quickly.
I finished final exams for this semester today. I also am praying that I did well and do not need to relive any anatomy hell again. Fingers crossed...
January will mark back-to-school time for both myself and my boyfriend. I will be returning as a full-time student for the first time since I graduated in May (I only went part-time during the fall). My boyfriend will be returning for the first time in 9 years! Wow! He's so excited! Which is adorable, I'm so unexcited about school it's ridiculous, I'm sure his shiny, new excitement will wear off in time, but for now it's very cute.
All of these changes of course have me thinking about New Years resolutions and the things that I'd like to change voluntarily in my life. I failed miserably at last years resolutions, so perhaps I should give it another go in 2010 or modify my resolutions and break them down into more manageable steps. I'll have to brainstorm about this...
So, yeah, big changes coming up. I wonder what else the new year will bring?
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