Sloth

Wow, I have been an incredibly lazy blog writer! I really have given it quite a lot of thought, but have just lacked the motivation to carry out those thoughts!

Aside: Happy Birthday to my biggest, oldest, big brother! I love him, and wish we were nearby each other!

Ok, so, back to the topic at hand: Sloth.

Yes, sloth is one of the 7 deadly sins. Yes, a sloth is a slow-moving animal. Yes, I think I may be both of these things, or at least the embodiment of them.

I don't know why I can't light a fire under myself and be one of those crazy productive people that do-it-all and get-it-all done. I'm terribly envious of these people. Also, they drive me nuts (but mainly just because I wish I were like them)! I'm sure if you've read any of my previous posts that you might see that this is, sadly, not a new trend for me.

Currently, at nearly 4 pm, I am still in my pajamas. Yes, that's right, I said it Internet! In fact, I have been in these pajamas for the better part of the last 4 days. My oh-so-sweet boyfriend seems to truly not mind this (that, or he is an excellent liar when he claims that he loves to see me in that Cure t-shirt). As I sit writing this I am sitting on my sofa in the middle of the messiest living room you can probably imagine.

I have spent my long holiday weekend doing a few things: sleeping (from the wee hours of the morning to late afternoon typically), obsessively reading my current novel, grudingly leaving the house for family obligations and some minor shopping, and attempting to attack the paper that has taken up residence in my living room floor.

The paper project is the primary reason that my house has become uninhabitable. I had some kind of wild hair and decided that since I'm having company over later in the week I should start cleaning now!!! And, the obvious place to start cleaning is the papers that seem to multiply mysteriously in my house. I've got boxes full of random papers (not joking), grocery bags with papers, and every surface imaginable has, you guessed it: PAPERS EVERYWHERE! I seriously cannot seem to get ahead of this paper and it is EXHAUSTING.

So, I jumped into this little project with vigor and shredded and trashed and sorted my heart out for 6 or 8 hours. And then, I was exhausted and I gave up. Sadly, the majority of the day I spent working on the paper mess was not enough and now my living room looks, if possible, about 100% worse than it did before I started "cleaning." And now, I'm bored with that little project and don't want to continue it. But I'm going to have to continue it, it would just be rude to expect my company to leap over piles of papers and stuff the way my cat has been doing for the last few days.

I have another problem that compounds this paper issue. I AM A PACK RAT. I have the hardest time parting with anything that I think might possibly be necessary and useful at some imaginary time in the future. Even if I haven't looked at the item in question for years. I realize that this is unreasonable, especially in my 1 bedroom condo. But I have an entire storage unit and overflowing closets to attest to my sickness.

So, when I think about my laziness and sloth regarding my housekeeping, it always makes me think about all of the other areas of my life in which I am horribly lazy. But, honestly, I think that a lot of it boils down to lacking discipline and a regular schedule (and the unexplainable need for 12 hours of sleep per day). I'm sure I'm perfectly human, and not the only one with these types of problems, but it's something that is constantly nagging at me. It is something that I always want to change about myself, and yet something that I seem to be powerless to fight. I feel like if I can magically force myself to go to bed and wake up at the right times that I will have the energy to accomplish every little task that I would like to do. I will suddenly have the time and energy to devote myself to all of the many things I wish I could (and should) do every day. And then, with the best intentions and plans, I just don't. Those good intentions just vanish like a little puff of smoke and my real life takes over and things stay the way they have been for years.

What's the catalyst? What will actually cause and sustain all of the changes that I so desperately want for myself and yet can't seem to achieve? I'd love to hear what works for others...